The Move-A Saga of Crooks and Christmas Wonder

December 9, 2015 raphaela9921 Comments

Last week, we moved house. It has been a long time coming. Five years in one home was a record for me, and it wasn’t even comfortable. It didn’t feel like a sanctuary. You get “stuck” in a place or situation without realizing it, and the thought of moving… Friends dropped boxes off throughout the past six months, and I slowly packed them and moved them into the garage. I thought I had de-cluttered sufficiently. We organized mover’s and cleaners so that we wouldn’t have to ask anyone for help. I geared myself up for the inevitable pain I would face with the rigours of moving, and my spine didn’t disappoint. A few days before, I lost control of my right arm and my bladder. Half of my spine went numb; the other portion was agonizing. I was amazed at my ability to peak before the main event! I told loved ones that I would sort out the new place within four days then have a good rest. After a period of a week, I would return to society. I was rather pleased that I had a hired team and wouldn’t require any assistance.

The day arrived, and I couldn’t wait. I had swept up all my memories, and was taking only the good with me. I went to the new place early, imagining where everything would go. I noted that the movers had put some boxes in the garage, and remarked to my friend that they were “lovely young men.” They didn’t make a reappearance and I was told that they weren’t at our old place either. We rang their mobile but it was switched off. “They must have gone to lunch,” I kept repeating to myself. We rang their boss who informed us that they had left and weren’t coming back. They had taken their fee from the credit card! Crap!!! We had a full house of furniture to transport and half a day to do it in. Hurriedly hiring a truck, we asked if anyone was around who could help. A fellow listened to our tale of woe at the reception area when we got the truck, and would you believe he turned out to be one of our new neighbours! He insisted on helping. Mums, children and men gathered, and the moving began. I burst into tears when I saw more friends alight from cars. Some brought food and cold drinks. An elderly fellow around the street from our old place was one of those who offered. It was a heat wave and I was astounded when they brought in wall units and fridges with a big smile on their sweaty faces.

I kept saying “thankyou,” until they could bear it no longer and demanded I be quiet. I heard the children laughing and playing together in the garden. We had a gathering of good people, sitting under a fan, sharing their lives. An elderly man told me about being a ward of the state and growing up in an orphanage and how he is shy and lonely. “You are doing okay with this group!” I assured him. He mentioned what lovely friends I had, and I nodded. “They’re the best.” They brought in our old tattered furniture with great care, the last of the group leaving at 11pm. The next day, we informed the movers that we would go to the Department of Fair Trading if the money wasn’t put back in our account and begrudgingly, they relented.

Beautiful furniture was left at our door-gifts from a dear friend- and food was delivered. What a dichotomy, to experience scoundrels and angels on the same day. I went out to the garage and looked on in dismay at the multitude of boxes stacked to the ceiling. Why had I kept so much? I could have halved it before the move! I felt overwhelmed as to where to start. A little dog from across the street broke away from its elderly neighbour and ran into my garage. It lifted its leg and peed on a box. I laughed and laughed. Maybe it was a sign?! I organized the house within four days, and then crawled into bed. I am about to re-emerge from my cave.

We couldn’t have our Christmas Tree up at the old place as there was no room. By a miracle, it was the first box we unpacked, and we set about decorating it. As each ornament was slid onto a branch, we gave thanks. Thankfulness for new beginnings, a beautiful home and for the best friends anyone could have. I have learnt that it is okay to ask for help, and that whilst there are scammers and shysters’ creeping around, waiting to pounce, there are more good people in this world. On the 1st December, I felt the power of the Christmas Spirit. It is love, kindness and servitude. It blessed my new home with its presence.

Onwards and Upwards!

November 27, 2015November 29, 2015 raphaela9910 Comments

I have lived in over twenty places, some better than others. There was the place infested with rats, whose walls were reinforced with flattened cardboard boxes. That was a quick stay! There was a former horse stable. There was a bitterly cold cottage in the mountains and flats in crime-ridden areas. When I came to this cottage, I was spent in every sense. The two years prior, I had broken my back again by slipping over in the street, and had three surgeries. I thought that it would be a good resting place, at least for a little while. Five years later, I am packing up and moving on, astounded at the intensity of the emotions I am experiencing.

In the little kitchen, I picture Serena, washing up, laughing as she does so. I picture her baby being cradled by my friend on the back porch. I envision Serena sitting at my dining table, as the children play. Every room has a memory of her. I need to leave this place. You know when it is time. I need a bigger place; one that is peaceful. I don’t want to leave her here. This place contains lingering memories of her. I would come home and find little gifts left by her near the front door. We would walk to the river. In the end, its the simple times we remember most, isn’t it? The grandiosity of balls and the like are wiped away over time. Its her being at my sink washing up… It makes that sink holy. The lounge is holy too. The mirror over the bathroom sink, where she would glance at herself. This beautiful, gentle woman.

A home is just a place. It is when precious souls imbue their energy onto a place that it comes to life, having a force-field of its own. I have laughed in this home, and I have cried more tears than I have ever thought possible. I have been terrified here, and I have come undone. I was told it wasn’t possible to have more children whilst living here, and I have had to craft a new life for myself. By leaving, I am saying it is done. I am ready! My memories of Serena are coming with me. See you on the other side of this move. xxx

Serena’s Anniversary

November 26, 2015November 26, 2016 raphaela996 Comments

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Another year has passed without you. Always remembered, treasured and in my heart. X

November has been tough this year. Now that Facebook offers daily memories, it has been quite harrowing. I have been able to revisit my status updates from November 2014, which were all updates on Serena. They reveal the confusion, fears and hopes as they occurred. Today is the anniversary of her passing. I can’t believe it’s been a year. I don’t feel as though I have scratched the surface of the cacophony of emotions her passing has proffered. This year has seen me stretching myself, and becoming more adventurous at a time when all I hankered for was to be found in retreat. She was an explorer, having travelled by herself many times. She would have been devastated at what has transpired in this world the past 12 months.

I have seen so many women who look like her walk by, little boys in tow. Her long auburn hair and steady gait has been replicated many times, and its all I can do to not tap these women on the shoulder. I expect to see her waiting at the bus stop; run into her at the park. I expect that she is visiting family in the UK and shall be back shortly. I am comforted by the fact that her dulcet voice is still in my ears, and her memory hasn’t dulled. It never will. Serena taught me to be ever-vigilant when it comes to my health. She has taught me to do what floats my boat, and also to be aware of the machinations of those I let into my boat. Are they helping me paddle, or drilling holes when I’m not looking? I had a dream about her a short while ago. She was teaching me how to fly. She surely is.

Inside Out, Heatwaves and the Wonder of a Full Circle

November 18, 2015 raphaela996 Comments

Anastasia Amour has released her incredible tome, Inside Out! To receive a 15% discount, use the unique code, found here then go to her shop!

We are having a spate of heatwaves in Australia. It’s the kind of oppressive weather that sees you seal yourself in your home with the aircon. It is too hot to even consider going to the local swimming pool. The thought of walking at all is enough to drain your energy. I did go out Monday, into the city for a class my daughter attends. It was hot, though not yet a heat wave. The view more than made up for it.

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Afterward, we went to see a friend in hospital. Strangely enough, it was the hospital where I nearly lost my life five years ago. It happened to be around the corner from the building where I nearly lost my life two decades ago. I went past the old orthopaedic ward, where I lay flat on a rotor-bed for months. I greeted the vision that appeared in my mind’s eye. If everything is happening at once, as per quantum physics, then she may have been aware of my presence. She wouldn’t have thought in her wildest imaginings that she would still be here in 2015. She could hardly take in the year 2000 and its impending approach! I looked at my daughter as we got to the lift. She was unaware of the memories contained in this place. She didn’t know that she had cuddled me, touching my face, as I was taken down to have surgery to save my life. My pregnant friend was hospitalized a week ago. She has been through hell, since a car crash. Her spine was broken, and she has had much pain. She went into labour just before we arrived, and we stayed until her husband could be with her. She ended up having a beautiful baby boy. Life comes full-circle. I had only bad memories of this particular area of Sydney, of threatening men and general menace. Here I was, talking my friend through the pain. My daughter was the visible sign to her that a lady with spinal injuries could cope, and that her child would be fine. We both delivered by caesarean, and it was a blessing to be able to provide her with hope when all seemed uncertain. Meaning coming out of nonsense.

I am in the process of moving house. We were given notice at our old place five years ago, just before Christmas. It was shortly after I had been discharged from this very hospital after having two surgeries. I was weak and exhausted, and our run-down cottage was the first place I saw. “It will do,” I said at the time. You know when it is time to move on, and we have found a gorgeous house. I am packing a little bit at a time. Between working, home schooling, and the many, many things I am doing that are necessary and time-consuming, there is little time for anything else. I would love for time to be fluid, but it is a harsh taskmaster on this planet of ours. I can only do what I can do. I am well aware that this spine is rather unstable, and that ironically, at a time I need to be more active than ever, I shall need to rest it more so that it isn’t taxed to the point of breaking. Pacing myself and making lists on scraps of paper (which I then either misplace or pack). I have so many lovely friends who have kindly offered to help. I appreciate both their offers and their love. I am telling this body that I have twelve more days to get it all done. As an eccentric, I long ago set myself a set of rules that not only make me feel safe but make sense. I have a rule that any house I move into shall be set up within four days, not a box in sight. I tell my body that it only has to keep going for four days after the move, and then rest shall come. Sweet, wondrous rest. After one week, I shall be ready to rejoin the world, in time for Christmas. Sounds like a plan to me!

The Be Thankful Challenge

November 11, 2015November 11, 2015 raphaela995 Comments

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The wondrous Danica has nominated me for the Be Thankful Challenge. I am thankful for this honour! Check out Danica’s blog for excellent content!

Challenge Rules

Share this image in your blog post
• Write about 5 people in your life you are thankful for
• Write about 5 things in 2015 that you are thankful for
• Spread the love and challenge 5 other blogs to take part

5 People in my life that I am thankful for.

I am honoured to have many beautiful people in my life, and am finding it difficult to narrow the selection down to 5!

I hereby will give a shout-out to those in the following categories:

1. Those who inspire me with their individuality and creativity. Those with whom I can talk for hours about art, literature, love and colour.

2. Those who have woken from a dark dream and have the battle scars to prove it. They woke up shackled and in the dark, and through their own efforts have broken the chains. These survivors are lighting their path. I am in awe and inspired by these courageous spirits.

3. The comedians. We all have those people who are irreverent and mischievous and make us smile. They make life worth living with their lightness of being.

4. The friends who are there in illness and in health. Those who seem to instinctively know that you require an intervention in the form of lunch or a walk.

5. The people you can be yourself with. No masks. If you are in pain, you don’t have to fudge it. You are accepted with your grief, sadness, joy and silliness.

5 Things I am grateful for in 2015

1. Home schooling my daughter. We have met many wonderful parents and kids and were warmly welcomed into the community. She has had many great opportunities as a result. It has been a thrill to see her flourish.

2. My beautiful friends. It has been a whirlwind of a year, and they have supported me and understood when I was snowed under.

3. Moving house. After five years in a place we have outgrown, we are looking forward to new adventures. I am looking forward to fresh energy and a new start.

4. I am thankful for the simple things. Sunshine, tea cups and teapots, books and art galleries, bird song and guinea pigs. I am thankful for laughter and shelter and music. I am thankful I am still here.

5. I am thankful that I had a few little breaks away this year. Even a few days away makes a world of difference.

I nominate the following to take part in the challenge!

1. The Confusing Middle.

2. Another Bad Conversation

3. The Colourful Kind

4. Life In My Tin Can

5. Know the Sphere

Amazing Writers, Editors and Illustrators to Check Out! (Part 2)

November 8, 2015November 8, 2015 raphaela99Leave a comment

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I had the most extraordinary editor on my book. Not only is she a guiding editorial light, but she is an artist/illustrator and writer! Her name is Anne Van Alkemade and she can be found via Facebook.

Marisa Alo is a marvellous writer and illustrator and can be contacted on her website.

Sognia Vassallo-Sime has is a writer/photographer extraordinaire and can be uncovered on Facebook and here on WordPress!

Sari Bullock has a tremendous book called Sugar Rush. She can be found at her website and on Facebook. Her illustrator, Don Ezard, is extremely talented, as you will discover here.

The delightful Adam Wallace has a whole lot of children’s books out there, waiting to be picked up and delighted in! He can be discovered at his website and on Facebook.

Linda Maree Malcolm is an exceptional woman, as you will discover upon reading Oracles in the Mist. Discover this talented author on her website.

Jenna Rothwell has delighted my child by writing Ben the Outside Dog. She has a Facebook Page and also has a website.

I can highly recommend these people, as authors, illustrators and editors.

Amazing Writers, Editors and Illustrators to check out! (Part 1)

November 8, 2015November 8, 2015 raphaela991 Comment

I am blessed to know many talented people. Not only are they remarkable writers, they are wonderful human beings. They have a high level of integrity and produce beautiful work. Check them out!

Michelle C. Monaghan is an extraordinarily kind human being, and you can find her website by clicking on her name. She also has a Facebook page. She wrote Garlic, Hankies and Hugs to honour a wonderful tradition, inspired by her Greek grandmother. This is only the start of her writing career!

Jo Ettles website can be found here. She is a motivating and positive force for change, in your home and yourself! She also has a Facebook page. She has two books, The Shed, helping you to see your way forward, and Underneath My Clothes, encouraging women to make peace with their bodies.

Pauline James has written an extraordinary book, titled Disturbing the Dust. It has perseverance, forgiveness and love as its themes. She can be found here on Facebook, and also on her website.

Aa is for Alpacas by Sue Carolane is a delightful children’s book. For more information, click here!

Susan Berran has a series of hilarious books for kids, and you can find out more here!Children adore her funny tales!

Check out Darcy-Lee Tindale’s bio here. She has written a book of short stories-Thumb Pickles and other Cautionary Preserves-aimed at children 9-12 years. It is both a funny and dark book.

Naomi Hunter has written a very important book, A Secret Safe to Tell. The book encourages young children to disclose abuse, and it has already saved lives from further anguish.Please check out her Facebook page.

Check out the bio for Waiting for Danica! A heart-rending, powerful, true story.

The lady behind Dreamy Belle’s Fairy Books, Gabrielle Bettels Hoffman can be found on her Facebook page and on her blog. Her stories are sure to delight young and older readers alike!

If you can get your hands on any of these books, you won’t be disappointed.

Sculptures By the Sea

November 4, 2015 raphaela9916 Comments

Last week I was bedridden. Throwing up, headaches, fevers and unable to breathe properly. It takes a great deal to send me to bed. Either I can’t stand on my feet due to spinal pain or breathing is difficult due to pneumonia. My daughter made her lunch each day and got out her workbooks. I was so very proud of her. Sculptures by the Sea was on in Sydney, and I thought that the ocean air may help my recovery. We departed early, the sky an ominous grey. By the time we left Museum Station, a storm had begun. The wind was ferocious, and turned my sturdy umbrella into a weapon. We found a café to take shelter in. The barista was a delightful young lady from Wales, and I was entranced by her accent. I couldn’t understand a thing she was saying, mind you! I asked for a coffee in a mug as big as my head and my request was granted.

My child and I discussed cancelling our trip to the ocean walk to see the sculptures. My mind started with its anxiety reel. What if my phone runs out of battery and we get lost? What if our Opal cards run out of money and we can’t top them up? How will we get back from Bondi? What if there is torrential rain? I noted that two friends and their kids were going to brave it. They posted that the weather was much better on the coast. Another friend mentioned that she and her son had danced in the rain the day before and had a ball. My daughter looked at me, and said in a determined voice, “Remember our motto? The Angelou girls never give in and never give up.” Trapped by my own motto! It astounds me the way we try to talk ourselves out of new experiences; out of adventures. We found the bus we were to take, and enjoyed a pleasant trip through the Eastern Suburbs. The only hitch was that I went the wrong way when trying to find Tamarama Park. We walked in circles, my anxiety growing stronger. What if my phone goes flat, what if our Opal cards run out, what if we are lost… What if I am not enough for this amazing daughter of mine? She squeezed my hand and smiled, “it’s okay if we can’t find it. Being together is what it’s about.” I gave it one more try, and to our delight, we found it!

The ocean air did indeed clear my lungs and head. It was like magic! It was quiet, given the wind and mild temperature. The sun was hidden, but the beauty wasn’t. Somehow it made the scene all the more haunting. The children climbed rocks and sprayed each other with this enormous bottle.

They ran barefoot and wild, just as a child should be. As one of them swung on monkey bars, performing daredevil tricks, I overheard two young women as they went by. “Look at that little girl! I love that she has no fear.” I told my friend what they had said about her child, and she smiled. She said that older people usually criticize her lack of terror at her child’s antics! My daughter found a wishing pot and made a special wish.

We could taste the salt on our lips, feel it in our hair. It was like fairy dust, a light smattering of medicine. For two hours, the children played games, laughed, ran and discussed the sculptures. These two spoke of some of the issues of their generation. The ‘Barbie Wave’ was created from thousands of discarded dolls, and spoke to our rampant consumerism. The child holding their phone and sitting mesmerized spoke of our obsession with technology.

As we were leaving, we came across a massive blackboard a resident had placed outside her home.

We only stayed two hours, as our friends had to get back to the car or face a hefty fine, but time seemed to be fluid, rather than linear. We caught the bus back into town with a cacophony of smiling people. A lady in her 90’s regaled us with her stories. Today taught me that I am enough for my daughter. I am going to be okay and I shouldn’t let fear stop me from doing anything. If the Opal Card or phone had run out of power, I would still be okay. There is a big world out there to explore, and there are more magnanimous people than bad.

Weeping Angel

October 27, 2015October 27, 2015 raphaela994 Comments

My life ramped up the busy and the stress in the past few weeks, and I haven’t gotten here as often as I wanted. Hoping to have a little spare time soon! I wanted to share my angel with you.

My friend sent a picture of her whilst she was shopping, and asked if I wanted her to pick up one for me. I collect angels, gnomes and fairies, so of course I said yes. It turned out that my golden angel isn’t posing in an exasperated fashion due to my antics. She is a Doctor Who Weeping Angel! Goodness! When I read the story of her origin, I was a little startled (you can tell I have never watched Doctor Who). I am keeping her regardless, and will repurpose her to be an exasperated angel, perched at the top of my Christmas Tree! My friend thought it funny that little Raphie saw a photo of a glittery golden angel and immediately yearned for her, unaware that she turns into a monster. Pretty much sums up my naiveté! I am learning the gift of discernment though, and perhaps viewing this angel throughout December may help remind me.

The Weekend

October 20, 2015November 1, 2015 raphaela995 Comments

My daughter and I were delighted to attend The Love is Huge by artist Jodie Whalen. We had no idea what to expect. We discovered the following on our seats; a pink flag, a party popper and instructions. We were asked to surprise a man called Heath by waving the flag and cheering when he arrived in the theatre. We certainly did, and he blushed and laughed, before sitting on the stage. Jodie came sauntering out in a gorgeous gown, and took us through a thirty minute performance. It was her declaration of love to Heath, and was intimate and profoundly moving. Much to my surprise, I found out that it was Jodie’s first time singing in public. During the finale, we set off our party popper’s and applauded as scores of pink balloons (with Heath’s photo on them), were released from the ceiling. My daughter was enchanted by the performance, even though she posed like this for my photo. “Romance, yuck!”

We then made our way to the 21st Birthday party of Casula Powerhouse (as a designated art space). It is an extraordinary place; large and filled with hope. David Capra did a splendid job of curating this event. There was techno music, a huge birthday cake, photo booth, karaoke, performers and more artists than there are angels spinning on the eye of a needle.

Artists are the dreamers, the visionaries and the ethereal of this world. Stepping into their realm is akin to splashing iced water on your face and falling asleep under the coercion of a fairy potion.

To our delight, on Sunday, there was a Blessing of the Animals at Ashfield Uniting Church with Bill Crews. It was organized with WLPA, the World League for the Protection of Animals. It was a service which greatly resembled an episode of the Vicar of Dibley. There were cats and dogs, ducks and guinea pigs. If I had known it was on prior, I would have brought our pets along! It was a very moving service, and we said a prayer for a lady who had lost one of her little dogs to old age that very morning. The hardest part of having animals is found in the dreadful day that they die.

It was a beautiful service, filled with love, for both the humans and animals. A majestic Police Rescue Dog made his voice heard by the end of the service. Bless the animals of this world. They have a lot to teach us, as my canary taking on an Indian Miner bird (from behind the safety of the window), can attest.