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My Birthday

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I had (another) birthday! For someone who wasn’t predicted to reach 16, they are coming around in rapid succession these days! I get self-conscious and usually don’t organize anything for my birthday.  I get frightened that I wont receive a reply. I have to work on the long-held belief that people will leave me. I have set up a life of independence to make sure that I am not in that position. I feel like a child, shyly asking others to come hang out with me. Some dear ones know me (frighteningly) well, and took it out of my hands. I went to the movies with a treasured soul-sister the evening before, and we laughed hard! The local council even put on a fireworks display, and we parked and talked as we watched the champagne crackers glitter and shimmer.

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The next morning, I woke to a knock at the door, and three friends were standing there, with breakfast for us all. I was touched by their kindness and we enjoyed a feast of pastries, fruit and coffee. My birthday was to be a busy day, of doctor’s appointments and going to a friend’s for a catch-up. I was waiting on a lovely cedar dining table and chairs to be delivered before I could go out. I had purchased them from a second-hand shop-extremely cheaply-and someone else had organized delivery, then notified me. Time passed, and there was still no sign of the furniture. I messaged my friend to apologize, hoping I may get there later. I ended up having to cancel the doctor’s visit, as by mid-afternoon there was stil no sign of the table and chairs. I was on the phone to the store when a friend called in. She spilled the beans that I had missed a little surprise party in my honor! I was mortified, particularly when the store told me that they did deliveries to my area the next day! I had stayed home for nothing! It meant the world to me that these three ladies wanted to spend time with me on my birthday, and even though I didn’t get over, I will carry their thoughtfulness with me all my days.

In the evening, four friends took me out and we enjoyed a meal at a Cuban restaurant. We laughed and were silly and I felt celebrated, enough to carry me through another year.

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My little girl performed a dance and song for me, and presented me with poems, cards and clay ornaments she had made. The whole day meant so much to me, even though I missed my own surprise party! I have to overcome my fear of being rejected and left alone. I am trying to reach out more and plan fun things with others. I am not that child left looking out the door of a clinic, waiting for visitors that don’t show up. I am surrounded by good people. I have to be brave enough to let them in.

   
   

35 thoughts on “My Birthday”

  4. Happy belated birthday Raphaela. I’m glad it all turned out wonderful for you, even if you missed the surprise party. It seems you have wonderful friends, so don’t forget that. 🙂

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  11. Happy Birthday blessings Raphaela! I hole your coming year is full of happiness. You are blessed to have such thoughtful and caring friends. They are true gifts and stars that shine bright in our days. Blessings, sarah

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