#ProjectPositive, September 11th. Lucky…

I am lucky, for I have this little angel. Photo by Jeni Nagy Photography

I’m lucky to have… Where to begin? So much is taken for granted. Its only when the gift’s rescind that we realize their worth. I am blessed to be walking. I have been in spinal wards, where the people are quadriplegics. I have been amazed at how they have regrouped and adapted. I know how lucky I am. I still have large chunks of bone lodged in my spinal canal. Another millimetre, and that would be it. I am lucky to not have brain damage from having continual seizures at thirteen. Neurologist’s came together at the Children’s Hospital, and predicted that if I came out of my coma (after having to be resuscitated), that I most certainly would have some degree of dysfunction. Enjoying clarity of mind  and not having excruciating headaches took a long while, and walking was certainly hard work. I had a great team around me, encouraging me, and being huge bossy pain’s in the arse! I am lucky, so very lucky. Having a baby has been humbling. I had three canned cycles in a row, and was offered minimal hope through the first facility. My goal was to get to egg pickup, and I changed clinics, determined to get to EPU. We had three frozen sperm and one follicle to work with. That follicle contained two healthy eggs, and both fertilized. Sadly, just before transfer, one perished. We were left with our one and only chance, and she took! I almost lost her at nineteen weeks. My water’s broke and labour started late at night. In the maternity ward, I was put into the cleaning room. Surrounded by mops and brooms, I was given Valium, though it did nothing to dull my anguish. By an inexplicable twist of fate, by morning  the rupture sealed, and the contractions stopped. She held on until 36 weeks, and she roared as she took her first breath. I know how lucky I am. It can’t be explained away, these acts of grace. For all that has been lost, much has been given. To be able to breathe, eat and drink, feel my heart beating in my chest, to have this child in my life, to walk, and to be free. I am the luckiest lady on earth.

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Photo by Jeni Nagy Photography
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