September 3rd. #ProjectPositive, Friendship

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I was always referred to as an eccentric kid, who danced to the beat of her own drum. Group games and sports never interested me, and I was in fact scared of groups of people. I kept my own counsel, and observed. I loved the fringe-dwellers at school, those who also danced to their own music. I was welcomed to join the “crowd,” though never felt the need to. There were times when friendships ran hot and cold, and someone wouldn’t be my friend anymore after not doing what they commanded. It mystified and hurt me. By the time I was fourteen, I was a loved member of a friendship group I found on the streets. They were from different schools, though all had damaged homes. They were mother hens to this troubled chick, making sure I ate, and that I felt loved. When I was taken to the clinic, I lost my support base. I knew nobody, and was very alone. It didn’t take long for friendships to come into my sphere again. In a clinic, the façade of “the crowd” has been stripped away and there is a rawness that is as exquisite as it is confronting. No fake smiles or small talk. Straight into why you want to die, and what will make living bearable for you. Holding a friend’s bowl, whilst she dry-retches and sponging her forehead. Holding a wounded girl in your arms whilst she sobs. The sort of emotional intimacy it would take years to build up, is accomplished in five minutes. I hated this place, though I loved the people. My friends didn’t just break into pieces one day. It took years of chiselling and whittling to provide the circumstances in which they happened to be admitted. They tried to spare me my fate. They could see it happening, could see him circling. They would have done anything. They tried.
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After several months in hospital, I went home after the fall. I had no friends, for my peers had gotten on with their lives and I had been forever changed. The next three years were spent doing correspondence school, seeing doctors and police officers. It was a strange existence, though one I am grateful for. When one isn’t exposed to a myriad of people each day, one gets to know oneself intimately. The downside was that when I went out into the world at eighteen, I thought everybody was lovely and had good intent. Some didn’t. Some wanted to use me, drain me, wound me. I had to learn to protect my heart whilst collecting friendships. When one comes across a forever friend, you know you have found a treasure. No need to hide. Love and support are offered in abundance. I love all my friendships, and wish I could see these dear people on a daily basis. I try to catch up whenever I can. When one has known profound loneliness and isolation, it makes you appreciate your companions all the more. Each is a gossamer thread in the tapestry of my life, contributing detail. I try to be a good friend, and when their heart’s break, mine does too. My dearest wish is that they all know how loved and treasured they are. It has taken a long while to find them all, but now that I have, I feel humbled. You cant orchestrate the natural coming together of individuals. Part of the joy is seeing it unravel over time. I love you all, my friends. All unique; the dreamers, artists, writers, doers of good. You have sustained me, and helped tie the loose ends of my life into a beautiful bow. I will try and be worthy of your kindness.
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September 1st-I love my face because…

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My beautiful friend Anastasia, over at http://anastasiaamour.com/projectpositive/ has a wondrous venture, called #Project Positive! Each day during September, there will be a prompt, Today it is the face. I love my face because it is capable of smiling and the skin around my eyes is capable of creasing when I break into a wide grin. That is remarkable. My face has been bruised and punched; my lips have been split open, as has my head. My face has healed and restored, and is capable of fronting up, and facing this world. A few years ago, this face had extensive plastic surgery for removal of tumours.
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There was a chance that the nerves may be partially paralysed. I was not concerned. My little girl was unafraid, for she saw her mother’s spirit peeking out of those swollen eyes. I was under twilight sedation during surgery, and had extraordinary epiphanies, which I needed to bang on about. I was warned that unless I shut up, I would have to be knocked out cold, as the surgeon was trying to do a flap repair near my mouth. I didn’t stop talking, so was indeed knocked out cold! I love this cheeky, impudent face. Splashing it with cold water each morning, feeling winter’s frost and a Sydney summer upon it’s skin. I love that when my face was battered and bruised, my child looked into my eyes, and said “oh, there you are.”
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Raphaela’s Companions-Nicci Peverill

Nicci and Liv
Nicci and Liv

Nicci Peverill owns Cupcakes in Camden, and runs food tours via her site, Made in Macarthur  As if those two endeavours aren’t enough, she is also a resident writer at In Macarthur Magazine She is a whimsical nature spirit, resplendent with colour and art, flowers and fairies. “Often my biggest risks turn into my biggest triumphs!” She was born across the ditch in Auckland, and came to Australia at 27. She moved into Camden three years ago, and everybody has fallen in love, both with Nicci and her cakes! She has degrees in psychology and zoology, and after having her gorgeous daughter Liv, she brought her small business to fruition. She did an inventory of all the equipment she would require, and then practiced and refined recipes. “If you are determined, and have a love for something, anything is possible!”
IMG_3072 She has a love of nature, and bakes from her heart, using natural resources. She is a storyteller, and clients open up to her, knowing their hearts are safe. It isn’t just about cake, but rather building a story around this ancient tradition. There is an affiliation between life and baking “Every wedding story that I tell- every event that I bake for- I really try and capture the personality of the people, whether it’s through a colour or a flavour. Food and emotion go together and food brings people together. I try to make the cake interactive. It’s not just about putting cake on the table.” She loves experimenting with flavours, and is a gluten-free expert, baking for local gourmet haven, The Epicure Store

Persian Love Cake and Salted Caramel Brownie.
Persian Love Cake and Salted Caramel Brownie.

I asked what triggered Nicci’s love of baking. “My grandmother did loads of baking for her family. It’s always been a love of mine. I looked at the skills that I had, I was pretty determined!” I asked Nicci about how she unwinds, as one of the challenges of running a home business is that you are always accessible. “I have to be strict with myself. I do really simple things. Livi and I go on nature walks after school. We also escape Camden and travel to the city or Southern Highlands, normally outdoors and centred around food, shared with other people. Every morning, gear yourself up with a good attitude. You might not feel great each day, but it is how you conduct yourself. Life is not an easy thing. You need to look after yourself. I see a lot of people not doing that. I think it is the most important thing, as a woman operating in society with all its demands. We have to take time out to look after our wellbeing, physically and emotionally. Most of the time I am pretty good at doing that, but other times I have to remind myself. It is having that awareness there.” There is a family link to depression. Nicci’s father was a Vietnam Vet who came back from the conflict with deep depression. When he passed away, she went through a dark time. She forced herself to get out into the world, rather than retreat. “It’s the natural stuff which helped, exercise and friendships.” She has a very happy life today. “So many people get bogged down with everyday life. You see it and you want to tell them!”

What is your vision for the next year?
“There are some amazing people who have moved into the area. I think it’s really started to change Camden, and we are on the creative map! Growing my gluten-free baking range. I always want to be a small boutique operation where people can come and get an old-fashioned cake. I will continue to experiment!” I have no doubt this cake artiste shall do all this and more. I am honoured to have a friend of such generous spirit, wisdom, love and laughter in my life.
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A Letter to the 14 Year Old Girl Trapped in the Darkness of a Body Cast

Exquisite.

Justine Froelker's avatarEver Upward™

August 25th, 1994 I had my first of two back surgeries, both of which left me in a body cast for 6 months following each surgery.

Twenty years later these are the words I need to say to that part of who I am still to this today.

The words to that scared 14 year old girl because in these words I choose to heal her.

Justine,

I know you are scared, but relieved that you finally have an answer to your pain. This is not the only time you will feel this gut wrenching and breath stealing bittersweet feeling. You will again feel this painful clarity on the day you receive the phone call that your last round of IVF did not work and you learn that your journey to have children is over.

But I can promise you, it is all worth it and you will be

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Why you should always say yes to fun. No exceptions

Fun and Whimsy rule!

psgrout's avatarPam Grout


“What has trapped you in a belief system that says your ecstasy can only come when you have certain physical stimuli in place? We want you to understand that ecstasy is your birthright. It is not something that exists outside of you.”—Daniel Scranton
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A new member of yesterday’s power posse sent around the above quote. I had mentioned what I call “The Divine Buzz,” this sense of being joyful and filled with well-being. I often experience it just walking across the floor of my kitchen.

It’s not something that requires me to be staying in five-star hotels or meeting America’s Top Chefs. It just is…anytime I take down my preconceived mental constructs.

The first corollary in E-Cubed is called the Boogie-Woogie principle. Or the importance of NOT being earnest. It’s about the Divine Buzz, about being happy. Stated simply it says that the more fun you have, the better life…

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Kindness Challenge – Week Four

Let’s be kind to ourselves, people! Fill our cups so we can nourish those we love!

Nicole Cody's avatarCauldrons and Cupcakes

Image sourced from Lucy Ellis Image sourced from Lucy Ellis

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
~ C. JoyBell C.

Hello Lovelies! Welcome to Week Four of our six week Kindness Challenge.

To participate in today’s challenge all you need to do is select and perform one of the following kindness activities. The beneficiary of our acts of kindness for Week Four is our Self.

Self Love and acts of kindness toward the self can be a…

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