There is never enough time!

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There is never enough time, have you found that too? As an aside, we often tell ourselves that now isn’t the right time. I ask myself, when will be the right time? Do we wait for the planets to be aligned? Sometimes, you have to plunge straight in. I don’t know where time goes, I honestly don’t. 24 hours has glorious potential when I wake at 5am, but I soon run out of sand. My daughter and I are planning on opening an Etsy shop by the end of the year. I have a desperate need to take her to the opera, the theatre, each and every cove and parkland around Sydney. I can’t sit still. I am afraid to stop. The truth is, I don’t know how to anymore. I find my release by helping her locate her point of peace. We went and saw The Peasant Prince yesterday at the Monkey Baa Theatre, and I watched the joy on her face as she “got” the lesson regarding never giving up, believing in yourself, and trusting your instincts. I realized that my point of peace is wherever she is.

I am sometimes terrified of failing her. The worst moment of my life was when I almost died after surgery when she was three years old. They let her ride with me on the trolley, and she stroked my hair on the way to theatre. I am her teacher, her guide and her parent. I am everything to her. I have been putting off having medical tests because I am quietly afraid. I have been waking in the middle of the night, crying in pain. People don’t witness this war going on within my body. It is getting worse. If I fall down, there is nobody to pick up the gauntlet. What occurred with my last surgery scarred me. It was close. I had bigger surgeries, before I had her, but I was filled with the bravado of youth and had nothing left to lose. Now I have everything. I keep on keeping on, but shall get the tests done and see a surgeon. I am on Lyrica at present. I don’t know if you know of it. It was designed for epilepsy, though is also used for neurological pain. It has knocked me about as I get used to it! I am willing to try anything. The bone and metal shards left in my spinal canal literally feel as if I have been knifed in the back. I guess I had been, many years ago.

My daughter is on school holidays, and as we walked to the park today, I stumbled. I told her to go ahead as we were meeting friends at a playground. After she left, I looked down, and there was this nest.

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Lovingly created, the chicks had flown and it was discarded. I picked it up, and carried it to the playground. I have always found nests to be my symbol of hope. One dropped to my feet when I was despondent during IVF. I still have it. Every time I have been in hospital, a dove has perched on the windowsill of my room. It can’t be coincidence. As I caught sight of my daughter playing with her friends, the pain diminished. I brought the discarded nest home with me. My evenings may be filled with pain and I may no longer be able to sit on a bench without back support. My lungs may struggle, and I may find it all hard and lonely. However, when I look at a nest or a bird, my resolve strengthens.

Sometimes we have to grab time back; either that or smash the hourglass. Sometimes, time can seem to stop. It does for me when I see a transcendent performance, or delight in the antics of my child or pets. Referring to pets, that includes our hermit crabs. They can be enormously entertaining and run like the wind! The only relief I have is to seek out beauty. It is the source of that which is mightier than this merciless pain. If you look hard enough, you will find it. If you close your eyes and concentrate, you can stop time.

Amazing Writers, Editors and Illustrators to Check Out! (Part 2)

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I had the most extraordinary editor on my book. Not only is she a guiding editorial light, but she is an artist/illustrator and writer! Her name is Anne Van Alkemade and she can be found via Facebook.

Marisa Alo is a marvellous writer and illustrator and can be contacted on her website.

Sognia Vassallo-Sime has is a writer/photographer extraordinaire and can be uncovered on Facebook  and here on WordPress!

Sari Bullock has a tremendous book called Sugar Rush. She can be found at her website and on Facebook. Her illustrator, Don Ezard, is extremely talented, as you will discover here.

The delightful Adam Wallace has a whole lot of children’s books out there, waiting to be picked up and delighted in! He can be discovered at his website and on Facebook.

Linda Maree Malcolm is an exceptional woman, as you will discover upon reading Oracles in the Mist. Discover this talented author on her website.

Jenna Rothwell has delighted my child by writing Ben the Outside Dog. She has a Facebook Page and also has a website.

I can highly recommend these people, as authors, illustrators and editors.

Amazing Writers, Editors and Illustrators to check out! (Part 1)

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I am blessed to know many talented people. Not only are they remarkable writers, they are wonderful human beings. They have a high level of integrity and produce beautiful work. Check them out!

Michelle C. Monaghan  is an extraordinarily kind human being, and you can find her website by clicking on her name. She also has a Facebook page. She wrote Garlic, Hankies and Hugs to honour a wonderful tradition, inspired by her Greek grandmother. This is only the start of her writing career!

Jo Ettles website can be found here. She is a motivating and positive force for change, in your home and yourself! She also has a Facebook page. She has two books, The Shed, helping you to see your way forward, and Underneath My Clothes, encouraging women to make peace with their bodies.

Pauline James has written an extraordinary book, titled Disturbing the Dust. It has perseverance, forgiveness and love as its themes. She can be found here on Facebook, and also on her website.

Aa is for Alpacas by  Sue Carolane is a delightful children’s book. For more information, click here!

Susan Berran has a series of hilarious books for kids, and you can find out more here!Children adore her funny tales!

Check out Darcy-Lee Tindale’s bio here. She has written a book of short stories-Thumb Pickles and other Cautionary Preserves-aimed at children 9-12 years. It is both a funny and dark book.

Naomi Hunter has written a very important book, A Secret Safe to Tell. The book encourages young children to disclose abuse, and it has already saved lives from further anguish.Please check out her Facebook page.

Check out the bio for Waiting for Danica! A heart-rending, powerful, true story.

The lady behind Dreamy Belle’s Fairy Books, Gabrielle Bettels Hoffman can be found on her Facebook page and on her blog. Her stories are sure to delight young and older readers alike!

If you can get your hands on any of these books, you won’t be disappointed.

Inside Out by Anastasia Amour is out now!

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I have just read Anastasia Amour’s 14 Day Guide. I well remember how it felt to torture my body as a teenager. My eating disorder was created by a combination of insensitive words, feeling out of control of my young life and a desperate need to be perfect. Alternating between bingeing and throwing up, and not eating at all. Exercising to the point of fainting. Feeling that death was less intimidating than shedding the demons destroying me. It’s time for us to loosen the shackles, to stop destroying ourselves in the name of some ideal that we can’t really define. Self-love has to start here and now! For our kid’s sake as well as our own. My weight has fluctuated throughout the following years, due to surgery, recovery, IVF and endometriosis treatments. I have had my weight commented on when I have gained pounds, and again when I have lost those pounds. When my face became rounder after several months in a spinal bed, it was remarked on. There was little I could do about my situation and it left me feeling awful. I look back at those pictures and guess what? I see a girl who is a healthy weight! How about we stop the commentary? Let’s put it into the basket of subjects one doesn’t bring up, alongside enquiring about someone’s fertility. Inside Out is a divine little book, consisting of a 14-day guide, which aims to change how you see yourself and your body. It contains many practical tools and exercises. Let’s redefine what it is to be you, and shake off the shackles of the dieting industry. You can’t improve on perfection! Anastasia’s book contains 14 exercises that will offer practical support whilst you kick-start your body-confidence.

Questions for Anastasia.

What concerns you the most about the media? Is it the images they use, the words, or a combination of both that is so harmful?

The current state of the media is so problematic, and you’ve nailed it. We’re a visual culture and there’s no questioning our saturation of digitally-altered images and ‘flawlessness,’ and when you combine these with language that’s absolutely littered with ideas of fear, guilt and shame- appropriated as marketing tactics…well, you’ve got a very dangerous cocktail. In many ways, I strongly doubt that we’ll move away from the current media format anytime soon-but that’s not what concerns me. What concerns me most is the wide reach that the media has now, particularly to young people. Somewhere along the way, we’ve started to blur the lines between advertising and soft porn and we’ve widely accepted the notion that “sex sells,” to the extent where ad exececutives feel it compulsory to use female sexuality as a commondity to sell everything from cars to boxes of cereal. This is concerning on multiple levels but the biggest issue I have is the age at which the exposure starts. If grown women struggle to not internalize these toxic media messages about worth, sexuality and body image, what hope do young girls have? Girls and teenagers blossoming into women are confronted with more than ever before, and the implications of this are truly terrifying.

The diet industry is more powerful now than ever before. Why do you think this is?

Its simple-because the diet industry have so craftily set themselves up to grow bigger, better and stronger with age. When you set up your consumers to not only feel a perceived demand of their own accord but to experience that demand from your actions, you’ll always have the benefit of being a supplier. That’s well and good, except its not-not at all. This isn’t just selling pens or printer toner…this is screwing with people’s mental health. This is creating insecurities, blaming and punishing people for experiencing those insecurities and then offering them a magic solution to fix the very insecurities that the diet industry itself contributed to. It’s immoral, it’s unethical and it’s damaging so many lives. What the diet industry doesn’t want us to know is that those who are overweight and need to lose weight to keep their bodies healthy don’t actually need the diet industry at all to do this. Diets and fads don’t work. They might help you shed a few kilos initially, but they do nothing to keep you healthy in the long term. Ultimately, we’re building a culture that searches for shortcuts and hacks. When we take a quick-fix approach to our mental and physical health, we’re treating the symptoms of our conditions and not the root cause. This is a huge part of why diets fail to create sustainable, positive lifestyle change-they help you to minimize the symptoms of your condition (excess fatty tissue), but do nothing psychologically to tap into the emotional issues around your relationship with food and your body. That works out just fine for the diet industry because they get the illusion of helping you whilst simultaneously ensuring that you remain a lifetime customer.

Why did you write Inside Out?

Having experienced anorexia and bulimia, I know what it’s like to loathe yourself in every way. Whilst counselling can be helpful, I also know that therapy isn’t for everyone and that many individuals prefer to educate and empower themselves on their own terms-I’m one of those people. Through my personal experiences, studies in psychology and mental health and via my own research, it’s my goal to provide sound and practical advice to women who prefer to do their own introspective work, or who don’t have access to a counsellor. ‘Inside Out’ is a resource that I wish I’d had access to at the lowest points of my self-esteem and body image. There are a lot of self-help books out there that fill your mind with “fluffy” advice on one end of the spectrum, and then highly scientific, psychological textbooks that are delivered in an inaccessible manner on the other end of the spectrum. Inside Out isn’t just for those diagnosed with eating disorders and body image issues. The techniques that it breaks down are applicable to all women who’ve ever had moments of body-loathing. Inside Out is my love letter to the reader. It preaches empowerment, validation from within and fearless body confidence-things all women deserve to experience!

Finally, how can we affirm young girls and help them to seek self-love, rather than praise from outside themselves?

The way that we affirm young girls is symptomatic of our cultural values and often, we end up forcing these ideals onto children through conditioning and selectively complimenting only the “acceptable” traits. How often do we see little girls encouraged to pursue maths, science or sports? How often do we see little boys encouraged to explore the full spectrum of their emotions? Instead, we encourage notions of femininity and masculinity as mutually-exclusive concepts-we compliment little girls for being pretty and packing up their tea sets, and we compliment little boys for being smart and rough and strong. We can make a great start by complimenting young people based on all sorts of positive traits, regardless of their gender. I believe we can go further by encouraging young people to set their own compliments and praise themselves, rather than relying on those around them to tell them that they’re pretty, smart and capable. This starts with setting an open and encouraging dialogue within the family where each member is celebrated for discussing their positive attributes. We’re all happier and more productive when we’re enabled to choose we want to be, rather than being pigeonholed into someone else’s idea of what we should like about ourselves.

Anastasia is offering my readers a very special deal! When the book launches on November 14th, this link will go live. On that date, go to the shop and enter the code below to get 15% off! This is a book that will help redefine what it is to be you, far away from societal pressures.

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For more info, go to Anastasia’s website.

Here is Anastasia’s bio.

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Life, it happens.

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What a month it has been. There you are, minding your own business, attempting to keep your home, career and life in order, and a big pile of manure is dropped from afar. I had eight further titles planned, ranging from children’s books to adult fiction and also an historical novel set in Sydney. That one is particularly interesting, having interviewed some real characters a while back, who told me some unknown goings-on in the city of sails. Will I continue working on these titles until they are ready to be brought into the light? You bet! They came into my mind for a reason, and I will see it through. I have to find a publisher, and I have to believe that it shall happen.

After my publisher folded, life became dark and heavy, as though I were cocooned in a grey film. I am a butterfly, dammit! I fought hard to metamorphose from a caterpillar! Back to the drawing board, back to the beginning. I have done it before, many times. Spending weeks in Intensive Care units at thirteen years of age, learning to walk again, starting a new cycle of IVF… I can do it; however, it doesn’t mean I like it. How many times can you dust yourself off? Hundreds of times, as it turns out.

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We lost this little guy this morning. His name was Snowball, and he was a real character. My daughter found him in a store where rescue animals are sold, and fell in love. I did too. He would look at me in disgust when I fed the other guinea pigs corn silk, and grab the juicy corn cob from my hands and run off with it. He broke into the girl’s side of the yard (partitioned off), and when I witnessed him “hugging” one of the girls, I asked him what he thought he was up to. I thought he was just being a bit full-on with his affections. He impregnated every girl, and soon we had lots of his babies. He was the Garfield of Guinea Pigs, either sleeping or eating. We would set him on the floor and whilst the other piggies would run, he would walk a few steps, then plonk down. He was poorly two nights ago, and we rushed him to the vet. They operated that night, as he was unable to pee. For two days we waited for news of his recovery. Bless you Snowball. You filled our lives with joy for the time we had you. The vet refused to take any money, which was incredibly kind.

I am sitting up in bed, sick with a bad virus. So much to do but with no energy to do it. I think it’s my body’s way of saying I have to stop for a while. Stop running and stop over-committing. Of course, as a mum home schooling her child, I can’t just crawl into bed and build a blanket fort, but I can slow down. I can plan our next house move whilst doing so, and I can dream at the same time. As I wrote in my book, just as I thought my story was winding down, I find it has only just begun. If you are going through hell, my advice is to keep going. Eat well, hydrate. Do only what is necessary. Let the world wait for your second-wind and recovery. This is exactly what I intend to do.

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30 Day Challenge, Day 30! Anything I want to Write about!

I have a myriad of wondrous things to write about today!

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Firstly I want to tell you about Tiny Notes. My daughter and I discovered a pink post-it-note on the window of the train carriage when we sat down. Beautiful people place them around Sydney, and the recipients Instagram the notes upon their discovery. It certainly gave us a lift this morning!

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‘I am Jack’ by Susanne Gervay was inspired by her son, who had been bullied at school. It resonated so widely that it was turned into a play by The Monkey Baa Theatre Company. My daughter and I were thrilled and stunned by the performance. It was funny and heart-wrenching. As a parent, it offered a window into life from a child’s perspective. Get along and see it if you can. We had a great talk afterward, about how important it is not to bottle things up, and the need to share your worries.

We found an extraordinary room at the Casula Powerhouse, filled with chandeliers offering an eerie light.

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I finished reading ‘Here comes the sun,’ about an Australian band called The Sunnyboys and singer and guitarist Jeremy Oxley’s battle with schizophrenia. He and his wife Mary overcame a great deal and managed to thrive. It is an inspiring love story and study of a talented man regaining his health.

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We also saw a koala, frogs and many other animals at Wildlife World. It has been a great few days in my household!

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We are going to have a little break away to go camping. We will be staying at a place filled with Koala Bears, parrots and dolphins. I look forward to sharing the experience with you late next week!

30 Day Challenge. Day 7, What do you Read?

The Collective
The Collective

At the moment, I read a great deal online. I am relishing the wonderful magazines that are being published in Australia and overseas. I will splurge on an expressed copy of a quality title. Here are some of my staples.

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  WomanKind Magazine

 

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Daphne’s Diary

I adore reading books too, when I have time! I cant abide the crime genre; after having survived a violent crime, and enduring the court process, it wouldn’t be something I’d choose as a means of escapism! I love autobiographies, and stories about how people live their lives. I love anything by Nigel Marsh, an enlightened and wonderful Australian author. I have ten books on my bedside table, waiting to be read! As with my music choices, authors and books are an eclectic mix in my household. I will buy a poetry book off a self-published writer, and tend to steer clear of mainstream authors. Many authors have inspired me and propelled me forward in my own journey. Dorothy Hewett, Ruth Parks and  Clive James are three who come to mind. What about you?

The Beach They Called Gallipoli

I shared a special moment with my daughter this morning. I bought her a copy of The Beach They Called Gallipoli by Jackie French and Bruce Whatley last night, and we sat down together to read it. Before we began, I commented on how young the soldiers were. “They were mostly boys,” she replied sadly. She talked about the nurses who served and comforted, and the power of crimson poppies to represent the sacrifice of the ANZACS. It was a challenge, trying to explain war when I don’t understand it myself. It was easier to highlight sacrifice and outstanding courage. “I want to go to the dawn service on ANZAC DAY,” she said. “Me too,” I replied. It is a beautiful book, published on this, the centenary.